Dying to Self: July 2011

Once upon a time, I was a worship leader in my church. Actually, it wasn't really that long ago but it feels like it was. Side note: I REALLY miss those days.

Today, I found an old email that I wrote to the other people on the worship team and it was something that I really needed to read today. Maybe that is why it was saved in my email! I wonder why I feel like I have to keep "re-learning" lessons.

From March 30, 2010:

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." - Colossians 2:6-7

I read this today and had a couple of thoughts. I hope this will encourage/challenge you as it is doing me. I thought about February 4, 1994. This was the day that I was baptized. Now, I don't know the exact date, but I know that I "accepted" Christ months earlier than this. When I look back on when I cognitively understood my need for redemption (as much as a 9 year old can!), I remember expressing genuine joy and thankfulness for Jesus. It was like I had just been saved from a scary monster...I used to think they would jump out of my closet and my dad would always check it for me...I had this overwhelming sense of gratitude and wanted nothing more than to talk about the man who saved me from the scary monster (aka my sin).

Growing up and now being an adult, I tend to lose that joy and thankfulness so easily. To do lists, schedules, work, bills, exercise, car pools, family, church, sports, performances, school, feelings of defeat, expectations of life. Not all of these things are bad, but they tend to suck joy right out of us when we let them and become overwhelmed by them (or allow them to become an idol.). When I read this verse I am challenged to remember my child-like faith and understand that foundation that was laid. I am lucky that both of my parents loved the Lord and I visibly saw how Christ changed their lives. I am blessed that I grew up in a church that taught the Bible. Maybe your experience was different. The point is, how do we continue to emit that same emotion, all the while growing on it, that we had when we first met Christ and repented of our sin?

When I pray for us as a team, I always pray that we would be filled and overflowing with the Holy Spirit. The only way to overflow is to be fed. So I ask, how is your quiet time? How is your relationship with Christ? There is no possible way that you or I can come to church on Sunday morning and lead overflowing with thankfulness if we have not been filling up during the week. Are you thankful for the righteousness of Christ that is made yours simply because of your faith in Him? Prove it! Spend time with Him, love Him, tell others about Him, worship Him, adore Him, glorify Him!

It's hard to believe that it's July already! Sorry for the blog neglect. I know you just wait anxiously for the riveting details of my life! :) I know that 'busy' is one of the most cliche words that we use to make excuses for not doing something but, alas, it is the truth. It's been a good busy though. Productive, challenging, and growth inducing....just what I need!

Something that I have really wanted to do in Moldova is go on a mission trip with Moldovan people. I contacted one of CCI's church planters and we organized a short trip for the girls that I've been teaching. I am a firm believer in the local church reaching the local people and it was a joy and privilege to watch these girls take what we've been studying in Scripture and "put it into practice."

Eight of us journeyed to Cornesti, a small town/village about 2 hours outside of Chisinau. If you know me, you know I have a strong tendency to be completely type A...to do lists, schedules, itineraries, goals, outlines, etc...this is the language I speak well. Any cross cultural missionary will testify to the fact that flexibility is the first point on the job description. I tried to drill that concept into the girls. There were certainly times when we needed to change our schedule at the last minute and times when we just completely omitted what was scheduled. I was so impressed and proud of each of these girls at how they quickly adapted and modified our plans without any complaints or questions.

Our major goal was to work alongside one local church in Cornesti and basically assist/encourage them in their work. They have a wonderful street kids ministry and we were able to help with that. One young woman in the church leads this ministry and she is incredible. She organizes and runs a program every afternoon where the kids can come and hear Biblical teaching, play games, sing songs, and be uplifted by the compassion and generosity of the church. As you can imagine, most of these kids have little to no adult supervision and guidance apart from the church. It can be a real challenge to gain the respect of these kids. But, God has truly gifted Ana with the ability to reach out and touch these kids on a heart level. They really seem to respect, listen to, and appreciate her. As do I.

Our second day in Cornesti was the most challenging, emotionally speaking. We went to the home of 5 children who now live alone after both parents and their oldest sibling left them. The oldest in the house is a 15 year old boy who has assumed responsibility for his four younger siblings, the youngest being 3. The church assists this family as they can with food, cleaning, etc. When we arrived we were greeted by little smiling faces who would not let us in until they finished "cleaning" for us. They wanted their home to be as presentable as possible. We split up and several girls started cleaning the kitchen and the rest of us gathered water from the well and began washing clothes. It was seriously both a humbling and gratifying experience.

For me, I was really struck by two of the children in particular. One was the 6 year old boy. When I went in the house he was 'washing' dishes...aka scraping a bowl in water with his fingernails. I also witnessed him sweeping the floor and taking a large bag of trash out behind the house. I thought about my nephew, Jack. He is only one year younger than this boy. Jack has two parents who are crazy about him and who will do anything to make sure he is loved and provided for. Pavlusa does not have this luxury. Jack likes to help his mom wash the dishes and says "yes mam" when his mom asks him to put something in the trash can for her. Pavlusa does not have a choice. If he wants a clean dish he must wash it himself. There was also a girl who reminded me of me when I was her age. I had the same bowl haircut! Every time I would look at her she had this huge smile on her face. I thought about my life at that stage. I was making home videos, dressing up in my sisters' dance clothes, and playing outside with my friends...all under the security that I would be called to come inside when it was too dark. Why? Because I was blessed with loving, involved parents. How drastically different my life was from this sweet girl and her siblings. I'm not saying that my life or my nephew's life was/is better. It's just one of those situations when you wrestle with God and ask "Why did you choose to bless me in this way?"

All of the girls have said how much they really enjoyed this trip. For some of them, this was the first 'mission trip' they have ever been on. I loved watching the love of Jesus radiate from each of them! My hope is that this attitude of compassion and love will continue and that the Gospel will continue to compel them (and me) to "make disciples of ALL nations."